I usually buy toys on Amazon, but you have to be careful with that because sometimes the distributors well sell low-quality knock-offs instead of the item you expect.
The harness I use is the Sportsheets Design Diva. It's supposed to fit waists from 28-82 inch, and I could wear it at my largest (size 28/30, 340 lbs) and still have plenty of room to give. The padding makes it much more comfortable than the plain cheap strappy harnesses we tries in the past.
That harness will work with any dildo with a plain flared base. We use this one, which was a good choice for my husband because it's lengthy and I could go shallower as we worked up, but it's not too girthy. The flat/suction base just fits and works in the harness better than the ones with balls do.
I'm sure someone else can give you a run-down on the best/safest materials for toys and which lubes they work with, plus which are easiest to clean. I should know this but I don't, but there are several sites that give a breakdown of it if you want to google and choose based on materials.
If he hasn't done much butt play, you may want to start with a butt plug or two to get him used to relaxing and having the area stretched/filled some before moving on to pegging. Usually a small & medium size will work, as the large ones in many of the sets tend to be pretty huge.
Nothing outlandish here but this is a great option to consider. The size is large and filling without getting overwhelming. The soft exterior and firmer core make for a pretty realistic experience and they allow the thing to work well when suctioned to a horizontal or vertical surface. Would love to hear if it's enjoyed beyond our household.
9.5 Inch Realistic Dildo, Dual Density Liquid Silicone Lifelike Penis with Strong Suction Cup for Hands-Free Play Flexible Cock Harness Strap-on Compatible Sex Toys for Vaginal and Anal Play (Purple) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJS9V49/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TFEYCNCJ7H1Q1C8180B5?psc=1
That’s the same one my wife uses. It looks amazing on her. Amazon has them on prime.
Not sure that will work given your sizes. Plus they usually slip out during pegging. Maybe try something like the Bare as You Dare harness http://www.amazon.com/Sportsheets-Bare-Strap-On-Harness-Dildo/dp/B000AOOBPG and add your own own toy of choice?
I think this is exactly what you might be looking for.
Comes with two dildos, both are "small" relatively speaking.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0037F3GEM
I am honestly not sure what the difference is between the beginner and intermediate kits. We have the beginner in purple. We also didn't pay this much for our, but it was a few years ago.
For our beginner kit, the small dildo is maybe the thickness of my thumb. The larger dildo is closer to the thickness of an average Richard, as you said.
Personally, i would spend my money on this before a clone-a-willy. I know a couple friends that have tried them and they all had poor experiences basically resulting in wasted money.
YMMV, good luck!
Since the prostate is only a few inches in, just about any length is gonna be hitting it. This is the one we started with I think. https://www.amazon.com/Tantus-Bend-Over-Intermediate-Strap/dp/B0037F3GEM/ref=sr_1_1?crid=L6KNKPJYUUQK&
As mentioned though, the spareparts harness is much nicer, so if you want to go all out, I would recommend getting that long with smallish dildo that fits in a strapon along with a bullet vibrator (like the one that comes with the tantus set I linked).
Some other tips:
Take care of everything. Meaning, clean yourself thoroughly with an anal douche.
Help her get the harness on and adjusted.
Lube up the dildo and yourself so she does not have to touch anything.
Doggy style (standing/bent over or both of you on your knees) is the easiest position for beginners (imo).
Don't try to get her to jerk you off while pegging you, just let her focus on the motion involved.
Clean up everything afterwards.
Strap U Bodice Corset Style Strap... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015GB1RIQ?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share I keep meeting people and when they put it on, after they've pegged me they want the harness I can't tell you how many I've ordered from Amazon to replace mine. You can tighten it and it doesn't slip or fall down or have to worry about velcro or any other issues like that it just does a great job.
I asked (wepegyourpardon) what they use .. She gave Me this link .. Its what She uses, Check Her and the harness out !!
Well, I can only speak for myself, but I think it feels amazing and the view is incredible. We use a strapon from Utimi and it works well. The dildo that it comes with is actually very nice too.
UTIMI Wearable Sex Strap-on with... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017VKFRJA?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
9.5 Inch Realistic Dildo, Dual Density Liquid Silicone Lifelike Penis with Strong Suction Cup for Hands-Free Play Flexible Cock Harness Strap-on Compatible Sex Toys for Vaginal and Anal Play (Purple) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJS9V49/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_SWE0PBRG2DDY5RTZXJ1M
This is what I bought
I repurposed one of my wife's strapon harnesses. It is a g string type with button snaps in the front. It was designed to hold a ring for a strapon. I just snapped it onto the cage ring. And tightened it down. Works pretty good and minimal under clothes.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000AOOBPG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_VBJWS2AZ79337D3DKBNS
If using a shoestring, just run it under the top of the ring near the lock and tie around the waist.
We thought about the harness you showed us here, but we wanted something a little more adjustable. She felt that the location on the pubic bone was not going to be the best spot 'all the time'. She wanted to be able to adjust the location that was bumped up against to be moveable so not to rub a spot raw with prolonged use. We went with...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B015GB1RIQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1
This one was good for us to use.
Please let us know how the spareparts harness works for you.
Not sure yet.....I underestimated the shipping time and it won’t be here till this Wednesday. However, we also ordered this one from amazon. For $30 it is amazing.......we haven’t used it yet so I’m unsure of the fit, but the quality is much better than you’d expect for $30!
So, the harness arrived and though the wife hasn’t test driven it yet, I’ve given it a going over and here are my initial impressions.
It seems to be very well made (considering we paid about $30 for it). I cannot compare it to the Joque, but we do have a Tomboi and I can kind of judge from that. I don’t think the o-ring is quite as tough as that used by spareparts, there is a little more give to this one. It does have two vibe pockets, both sewn in the same orientation as spareparts does. She elastic bands on the side have great quality Velcro that doesn’t feel hard agains the skin. I’m sure it’s not as nice as the joque, but it’s not bad kid.
Both harnesses, the one we got from pink cherry and the one from amazon far surpassed our expectations. Both are much, much better than our first harness, the diva by sportsheets.......though, just slightly less refined than the Tomboi. For a $30 harness, we are well pleased.
Sportsheets is the company we tried for our first and recently we got this one, should sit better on her hips and be more comfortable that the really basic all webbing one we had before. This question gets asked a lot so it would be great if they had a sticky but unfortunately not. As long as you don't have a knotty toy and it has a flared base silicone or metal o rings will work fine. If you do have a knot you can use a velcro STRAP they come with loops to self tighten instead of a regular strip. Also got these on amazon in a few different lengths. The velcro brand ones are pretty heavy duty.
Sportsheets Ss69103 Red Lace Corsette Strap On https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003MKKWVW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_d3JoCbDYTV8GQ
The John Holmes dildo is quite fun: https://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-Legendary-John-Holmes/dp/B00347A4WA?th=1
Thought it's difficult to recommend anything without knowing what your current collection stands at.
I have this one. The center ring can be changed out for a larger or smaller one that you can get from Home Depot to fit any width dildo you want to use. Also, some women say they use a this harness with their strapless strap ons to keep it in place. https://www.amazon.com/Sportsheets-Bare-Strap-Harness-Dildo/dp/B000AOOBPG/ref=pd_lpo_121_bs_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=A919JMMVF0KNA7MQ22AG
The Share doesn't harness well because it sits so low, exactly like you described. I personally would skip the Share or the Feeldoe, and just get a regular dildo that's in his preferred size and spend the extra, if there is any, on an Aslan harness (they're worth the money). But if you already have the double-sided stupidity and need something to stabilize it, try this Sportsheet harness (you might need to order O rings in a larger circumference, too...just make sure they're still thin enough that the snaps of the harness can close around them)
Second this recommendation. The Tantus Silk dildos are really nice.
They also make a Bend Over Intermediate kit, which is the same thing except it comes with the medium and large dildos. IMO the small one is too short / thin to use effectively. http://www.amazon.com/Tantus-Bend-Over-Intermediate-Purple/dp/B0037F3GEM
we use this one, and have had no problems. its on sale right now as well for about $30.
Non-mobile: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0037F3GEM
^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?
Sorry it took so long was waiting for a new harness
http://i.imgur.com/rCPWwsy.jpg
this harness http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003MKKWVW/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
with a large Nox
works great very comfortable and really adjustable
This is the one I use. I've had girls way bigger and way smaller than me wear it and have it be comfortable.
But if you're feeling more crafty here's a comic on making a DIY harness.
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/oh-joy-sex-toy-how-to-make-a-diy-harness
Hope this helps!
Doc Johnson Vac-u-lock Platinum - Supreme Harness, Black $26.67 & FREE SHIPPING Doc Johnson Vac-u-lock Thin Natural 7-Inch Dong $9.99 Order subtotal: $36.66 i found those deals in like two mins of searching. I will try to find more for you also LMK if it works out for you :-)
My gf is bigger and we got a "corset" harness from Sportsheets that works pretty well. It's set up to just use a wide based dildo but you can remove the triangle backing piece so it can be used with our feeldoe. It's pretty cheap but the build quality is good. The adjustable straps are about 3ft' so they can be adjusted to about any size.
http://www.amazon.com/Sportsheets-Ss69103-Lace-Corsete-Strap/dp/B003MKKWVW
The Tantus Bend Over Intermediate kit wouldn't be a bad option. The harness seems really stable (just my observation, haven't had my other half try it yet) and the toys are really smooth. Though the smaller toy is a little too small to really be considered "medium". It might be a comfortable fit for just starting out, though. The large is a pretty reasonable size for someone with a little experience, but the tip is bulbous so entry is a little difficult. But both toys are pretty easy to work with. It'll be a little while before I can give a better assessment of the harness itself.
As far as strap-ons go, I think this makes for a great starter harness. It's cheap, sufficiently sturdy to withstand a vigorous lay and comfortable enough not to hurt the driver. I've personally used it with dildos ranging from 6-9 inches, thin to very thick, and it's supported them all admirably. It is compatible with both suction cup and non-suction cup dildos, is completely adjustable and the strap-on ring is replaceable with any size O-ring. For additional O-rings, I use either a cheap pack of rubber cock rings or stainless steel plumbing rings that can be purchased at OSH or Home Depot for a dollar or two. Plus, the harness looks terrifically sexy on a lady, to boot.
Concerning the dildo itself, I can't help but recommend that you go straight to the higher-end Vixen 100% silicone dildos. I started out exactly where you are, and after a long and expensive journey have discovered these dildos as the holy grail of insertables: the most comfortable, material-safe and best-warrantied out of all the competition. You can start out cheaper to find out what size you enjoy, but when you want something for the long-term, I can't recommend Vixen products highly enough. They will be prying my [Outlaw](www.vixencreations.com/store/outlaw.html) from my cold, dead hands.
And finally, my main rule of thumb when buying sex toys is to look for them on Ebay first, as about 90% of the time they can be purchased for far cheaper on there than they can be had elsewhere. I've purchased everything from cheap dildos (brand-name as found in brick-and-mortar stores) to high-end LELO products for about half-price on Ebay, and never had a single problem or concern. Go to an adult store if you want to see the products in person, but if saving money is you primary concern, give Ebay a shot.