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Good on you for being proactive about your finances. Please cut it up so you don’t use it any more. I suggest reading this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial-ebook/dp/B00DNBE8P6
There's an anecdote from Art and Fear (great book, and very short, highly recommended) similar to that. Half of a pottery class was told they'd be graded on the single best pot they produced that semester, the other half was told they'd be graded solely on weight of pots produced. At the end of the semester, the "graded on weight" half was producing better pots.
Very little spillover. From what I've read, it didn't even impact his ability to memorize a string of random alphabetic characters. That said, people have done a lot with mnemonic techniques to accomplish amusing tasks like memorizing the order of 27 decks of cards in an hour, and some techniques there can be trained for a somewhat wider range of tasks.
>but recently I was doing a course about the way our brains/minds warp information to suit our self-image and one of the ways is that when learning something, particularly when rereading, we can trick ourselves into thinking we've mastered a subject because we recognize information, but we can't actually bring that information to mind as easily without seeing it
I've been reading a book that talks about some of the common cognitive biases we make when learning. What you just described sounds very similar to what the authors in the book call "fluency illusions", which is the tendency to confuse fluency in your reading with actual mastering of the content of what you're reading.
currents thoughts about anti intellectualism are coming from this book I'm reading right now
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006LSVB1M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
surprsingly prescient for techniques and issues that we're plagued with from right wingers today
DLAB is horrendous, this guide is quite helpful but it’s just a beast in and of itself. If you don’t score high enough you can retest in 6 months but it’s up to the recruiter as to if they allow you to wait that long. My DEP had a person waiting to retest so it is possible. When I went through (obviously pre plague) we found out our language week 6. You make a list like week 2 of your “top 5” languages which “they match to needs of the Air Force” but most of us think it just goes into a shred box.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DNBE8P6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Read it, live by it. I know its a bit fucked to tell anyone in this position to just "be better with money" (especially with the Covid), but understanding how and where you spend money by doing a budget is critical. Getting a small sum together for emergencies, is critical.
This book really helped influence and codify how I use money, got my 50k in student loans paid off in 3 years, and has me well on my way to saving for retirement and a home.
Financial stress, constant never ending hardship of money, creates a form of PTSD that will literally kill you years ahead of your time.
TLDR: Yes it's possible, no you need more information than any video can present in 9 minutes, think about whether it's a good idea for you.
I'm not going to sit through a video that probably only has 2 paragraphs of actual information. I will say that yes, it is possible to pay off a mortgage in that kind of time frame. If you want something with a little more detail on how to get there, you might consider spending $12.99 on a book. Heck, it turns out that Amazon will autocomplete "pay off mortgage in 5 years" and you can have a book that just deals with that for about $5.
The next logical question: is it desirable? Assuming that your mortgage is affordable and you aren't buried under a mountain of debt, is there a reason not to have a monthly mortgage payment? Sure, the mortgage interest deduction is probably not a factor anymore. But why not use the leverage of that money in your bank/brokerage account? And what about the piece of mind knowing that the escrow account associated with your mortgage is taking care of the property taxes without you having to save or even think about it? I'm not saying not to pay off the mortgage, I'm saying examine your reasons for doing so and the potential pros/cons before you get rolling.
The sharks have feelings too reviews on amazon is maybe the funniest thing I have ever read I read it every 6 months for a laugh in trying times
https://www.amazon.com/Sharks-Have-Feelings-David-Portnoy-ebook/dp/B01EJ17DHS
It is not ignorant jf you look at how this shit looks in reality. Most psychology studies are purely theoretical with very little relevance to real life. Philosophy studies are done just analyzes of old philosophers. A lot of sociology papers do not meet the basic criteria of science. I invite you to read the book cynical theories for more on that topic. https://www.amazon.com/Cynical-Theories-Scholarship-Everything-Identity-ebook/dp/B08BGCM5QZ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=cynical+theories&qid=1619717464&sr=8-1
Unlimited Memory: How to Use Advanced Learning Strategies to Learn Faster, Remember More and be More Productive is free with an Amazon prime subscription for those that are interested in the "learning how to learn." resource.
https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial-ebook/dp/B00DNBE8P6/ref=nodl_
Piracy is a form of stealing. Don’t think Dave would be OK with stealing.
If you really need the book, call in, and he might give it to you for free.
Dave has hard cover on his site for $16 and audiobook for $20 (price rounded up). Amazon sells kindle for $17.
Oh I have been here...sooooo many times. I've been married now for 25 years and it was decades of this pattern for us.
Eventually I realized that he has very little self-compassion. And I started focusing on that and thinking about how different I am in that way. I have a lot of self-compassion and can easily forgive myself when I screw up. He is more of a perfectionist overall, and he would rather avoid thinking about a mistake because it feels so bad for him. He doesn't have an internal voice that says "It's okay, you didn't mean to" or "It's okay, you'll learn from this and everyone makes mistakes".
Also, some people can get caught in a "win-lose" mindset during conflict. They feel like in any conflict, someone is at fault and must be blamed. My husband saw conflict this way, and used to always say to me: "You always have to win". He didn't believe me when I said I didn't care about "winning" and that there is no one to "blame" and I just want him to understand me, and to understand him.
When I spent a little more time getting inside his head, then I could see how painful this mindset must be. I was so tired of reassuring him when I was the one who was hurt, but now it's so much better.
Also got him a book called "I Hear You" because it teaches how to validate someone. It helps change his mindset from "I did something wrong, I am to blame" to him focusing on "I can make her feel better in this moment".
https://www.amazon.com/Hear-You-Surprisingly-Extraordinary-Relationships-ebook/dp/B071K4MWMK
I hope that helps
My college days started in the early 90's, so it's been a long time, and I'm not a biochemist, but I have a tip to share with you, and anyone else who is about to embark on the college journey: Learn memory techniques, if you haven't already. There are various sources on the subject. I like learning by reading. One easy book on the subject is Unlimited Memory: How to Use Advanced Learning Strategies to Learn Faster, Remember More and be More Productive
Art and Fear is a very good book that approaches some of these topics. I think you would like it.
The book Cynical Theories explains this pretty well.
Early Retirement Extreme provides a thorough overview of the philosophy and strategy. Cannot recommend it enough.
Don't join the army. Wait 6 months, study this DLAB book and retake the DLAB. If you don't get over a 110 after studying this book, you'd probably have a difficult time studying as a linguist anyways.
One other thing that may interest you, being a good visualiser, is the potential for developing mnemonic techniques.
If you have an amazon account, you can read the first few chapters of the following book for free ("download sample"), the exercise described in chapter five "use you car to remember" - about 3 pages of description - should give you a flavour of what is possible.
You can use this to make a lot of use of visualisation skills in an academic setting, mostly through an increased ability to memorise and recall lists.
Yeah, I mean it sounds like she's just not a great listener.
My wife is similar, she tries but ultimately when I vent my serious problems to her a lot of times I just feel worse after so I find other ways to cope. So generally I stick to just telling her about work drama or simple things so she can hear about my day.
You might talk to your wife about reflective listening.
There's also a great book called <em>I hear You</em> that might be helpful for her.
I used to do the same and I learned loads from watching Dr Alex Young’s videos on YT they are probably the on the better side of YT study I go video and are pretty practical. Also check out the book Make it Stick
Overturning established ideas is desirable, it's flashy and gains you fame. The tricky part is you need evidence.
If you're talking about institutional policies, that isn't really what people in the hard sciences are trained to look at.
As for an informed public - you can show them things, but you can't make them read/watch/listen/absorb it. It was always this way. It was an old trend in the 60's when Hofstadter wrote about it.
Con respecto a finanzas:
Recomiendo leer https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DNBE8P6, es medio libro de auto ayuda pero tiene buen info y buenos piques si no tenes un plan de ahorro y ya tenes deudas.
Con respecto a tarjeta de credito, yo subscribo a la idea de usarla para todo. Primero porque no es tu plata y tenes cierto seguro para robos y eso que con la de debito no. Segundo porque algunas tarjetas te dan millas que si las usas pila te beneficias. Esto siempre y cuando pagues el total mes a mes. La idea no es endeudarse y sacar en cuotas, la idea es usarla como si fuera de debito que post paga.
> It’s like someone dropped a bomb on actual social progress.
Critical theory is that bomb.
Highly recommend this book, if you're interested in learning more about how critical theory has fucked our college system and is tearing apart our social fabric.
It's true they do wallow, but it is also true they are not ready to hear what you want to tell them and it's not likely to help them.
There's an excellent book about this called <em>I Hear You</em>, but the TL;DR is often the most efficient way to help someone work through an emotion is to validate it.
That doesn't mean you just blindly tell them everything they feel and think is correct, it means you acknowledge their hurt comes from something real.
> She will get her own medicine.
Not really. Most LL partners don't use sex-esteem for validation. She's much more likely to feel smug (that you're so desperate that you're rejecting the sex she knows you want) and angry (that you're trying to make her feel bad). That's a healthy cocktail of empowerment and self aggrandizement you're giving her. I'm guessing that that doesn't line up with what you intended to communicate by rejecting her.
If you really want to get even with her, why not do something invalidating instead? Just do the opposite of what the book in the link says. Then she'll actually feel bad the way that you do, which sounds like your goal here. Align your actions with your goal.
For the record, I think that's a terrible goal. But if you're going to go for it, might as well do it right.
This is probably the first one, it's also the most extreme. Other's "Simple Path to Wealth", etc are a little more gentle & doable. But, philosophically, this is it. IMO.
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> My reaction to other people sharing the mundane probably stems to others not listening to MY mundane probably, but even acknowledging that fact still doesnt really make me want to listen to the mundane.
I suspect you have this backwards, or perhaps you learned this at a young age or something.
Either way, listening to other people isn't really about what they did, it's about validating they had a human experience.
Also, these events allow you to learn about who they are and their patterns of thinking from these specific examples of what they did and what they think about it.
<em>I Hear You</em> by Michael S. Sorensen is an excellent book on the topic of listening to people and forming good relationships with them even when you are perhaps not interested in the same things they are.
I frequently recommend the (very short and super concise) book "I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships" because I struggle A LOT with it... Not empathy, but an urge I call "helpful not helpful" where my anxiety wants to help the other person solve problems rather than empathetically sitting in the discomfort and making the other person feel SEEN. The book laid it out in a way where I recognize how valuable the option of simple validation is so in my mind it's just as valuable and probably more helpful than trying to solve anything.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0042JSQLU/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Art & Fear. I think Robert Rodriguez told me about it.