So uh, quick word of advice.
https://www.amazon.com/Cleanstream-AA505-Enema-Bulb-Red/dp/B002SKG8GU
That's an enema bulb, but it's commonly used as a manual bidet.
If you're worried about running out of toilet paper you can literally just wash your ass every time you go, and you'll waste less paper and be cleaner for it. I discovered bidets in europe, and I got a cheap and effective one for my own toilet, and I take one of these with me when traveling because I hate not feeling clean back there now.
Haven't had an itchy ass in years. And yeah, I guess I gotta make do in public toilets (when making doo anyway) but with the pandemic I've not used one of those in... fuck, can't remember the last time.
I don't mind that the rest of you are walking around with filthy, filthy buttholes, I'm just glad I'm not anymore.
Anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk about how you can save some trees by washing your ass properly.
What you need is a basic enema bulb. They're available at some pharmacies, including CVS if you live in the United States - I'm sure they're also fairly easy to find in other parts of the world, but I don't know specifics. Anyway, it's basically a rubber bulb that you fill with water, and then a nozzle that attaches that you can use to squeeze the water in. It's good for a quick cleaning, and is easy to keep hidden since its small. Something like this. That being said, since you're not experienced with enemas, definitely make sure you push out *all* the water before you start playing! Sometimes water will get stuck up behind your colon which will make it feel like you're empty, only to get let out later once you're playing! It can be very messy. I usually just stick a few fingers up there as deep as I can go while I'm still on the toilet to double check. You'll get used to it after doing it a few times.
Anyway, I definitely recommend getting yourself nice and clean before play sessions - feces can cause friction and discomfort, plus then you won't have to worry as much about cleaning poop off your toys, hands, and other surfaces.
I recommend an enema bulb! It's really old school, but my oh my. It never fails with me. I've had one for like two years now, totally feel like a hippy but my doctors say that's better than laxatives which can irritate the bowels and cause addiction. But what do I know! Stomachs are weird! I'm so glad for your touchdown! I wish you many more!
Enema bulb - squirt warm water up there, squirt it out. Do it a few times until the water is coming out clear. Afterwards wait 30 minutes so that any residual water up there has time to be absorbed. I usually take a shower during that period and soap up down there.
Seriously....bulb enemas are your friend. Not that you HAVE to do anal, it's not for everyone, but my wife and I both love it and this $10 piece of plastic and silicon keeps us clean.
https://www.amazon.com/Cleanstream-AA505-Enema-Bulb-Red/dp/B002SKG8GU
fortunately you don't need to clean your colon, just the rectum, the small portion of the colon just before the bend. just eat a lot of fiber for a few days prior and you'll be good, but if you're super anxious, get one of these.
but also, i understand why you're worried and it's fine for you to be worried, but if your boyfriend is also paranoid about this and absolutely doesn't want to get any shit on his dick, i advise you to retire the idea of anal altogether. it comes with risks, if you can't handle those risks, it's not for you.
Hey so i made a throw away just in the hopes I could maybe help you out. I just went through this about 3-4 weeks ago. Virgin, 21, male, 5'8'', 150lbs, not feminine, using Scruff and Growlr. I used apps because I like older guys. It actually took me about a year to accept this is what I wanted.
So my first question is what have you done in preparation? Do you plan to top or bottom? I had been seriously thinking about my first time for a about 1-2 months prior. I was really nervous like yourself so I just looked at other guys profiles I was interested in while in an offline mod. I had a few people message me but I just stated that "I was not ready yet, sorry" or "thank you". I eventually bought lube and tried fingering myself (i think doing it with lube is easier than in the shower). It showed me how easy it was to fit larger things up there. I quickly moved to an anal plug set to prepare myself further. http://www.lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=3539
I pretty quickly able to use the medium plug. Oh also I bought and enema and got used to using that (~3 times 2-4 squirts) http://www.amazon.com/Cleanstream-AA505-Enema-Bulb-Red/dp/B002SKG8GU/ref=sr_1_3_s_it?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1464369744&sr=1-3&keywords=enema
I used the plug for about 2 weeks, not every day, but I kept it in for 30min to an hour while just sitting at a computer.
I finally felt ready and put a photo up online and got messages from people. I was polite, but mostly talked about normal things. Interest on my profile or theirs. Returned or gave a compliment about how they look (handsome, nice face/smile/beard, strong, stud, etc). I never initiated any sexual talk. Exchanged pictures when they asked or if they did (and i was interested).
So now I'll continue with my first time and focus on what we talked about.
So since it seems like you dont have a problem meeting people I'll tell you that one of the people I had favorited messaged me within 2 hours of me putting up my profile picture (not bragging, just context). I didnt know if he was looking to hookup or date. We talked just like I said above. Compliments and a few interest. He gave me his number fairly quickly. Now I was still just shocked this was happening this fast with a guy I was really attracted to. I ended up using Sideline (a fake phone number app, it can send and receive jumbled messages sometimes but good for privacy). Looking back through the texts our first conversation was very casual (what are you up to? how did the day go? which lead into interests and opinions). I know that may seem vague but those two questions really made it easy to continue talking as long as you or he puts some detail into an answer. Then he asked what else I was into and I returned the question. We clicked really well, both of us making mild sexual puns to each other. My dick hurt while just texting him. Now I really liked this guy and didnt want to scare him away being an inexperienced virgin.
So before our first date I decided to meet up with another guy. He luckily messaged me, but I dont think it would have been hard to greet him. These message were much more straightforward. Still same basic stuff but much more down to business. After a little back and forth (flirty, not romantic) he asked what I was into. I straight up told him that I was a virgin, but I was ready and looking for someone to teach me. I think its good to be upfront so that they dont go too quickly for you and you stay relaxed. The key things to look for is someone who says they would take it slow and not teach/try everything right away (ie no anal first time, unless you really really want too). We talked a bit more but not a lot. We agreed to meet at Panera Bread and we talked for about 30-45 minutes. I was really nervous, but stayed calm. In fact, I got there first to just settle in. He seemed genuinely interested, nice, and not a creep. He drove me back to his place and it was slightly awkward, but we watched Jimmy Carr standup cuddled on the coach. Eventually I felt a desire to kiss him so we started making out and continued to do so for a while. Then it was slightly awkward as well again when I said I wanted to go to the bed room and we walked over. I laid on the bed first and we started kissing again. I cant remember if I undid my belt or he did but the pants came off, then his shirt, then mine, then finally his pants. We continued making out and I felt really relaxed. I kissed his neck, nibble/sucked on his earlobe and nipple. I wasnt really thinking about it being my first time too much, I just relaxed and in a sense trusted him. I just did what felt right. Now I cant remember if he sucked my dick first or sucked his. Either way when I sucked him it wasnt gross or that difficult. I had read about how to give a blowjob a few days before and the day of so I wasnt too nervous. I came back up and kissed him again then he sucked me again and I paid attention to what he did. More kissing. Be prepared to taste salt from your own pre-cum. Its more surprising than anything. I neither care for it or dislike it. But finally when we had messed around for quite a bit, sucking each other at the same time & kissing in different position & some dry humping, I decided to stay down longer and finish the job. I did swallow only because i didnt really know when it was coming and I didnt really taste it. Im sure it would have been fine to spit it out or ask him to jerk him or have him jerk himself when he was almost there. I was so pleased to get him off and when he said that that there was no way that was my first time. He then tried to get me off, but unfortunately I was taking a medication that made it difficult so he jerked me, yet i finished myself while kissing him. We laid together for a bit after, showered together, and then I asked him to take me home.
I think the major take away was just to relax and be with someone you trust. Youre being vulnerable and its difficult so if you cant relax it wont be enjoyable and awkward. Just give in to the moment. Also there really isnt a bad blow job as long as you dont use teeth.
Now I would have meet up with this guy to try anal, but I went on a date with the other guy and it was fantastic. We had another date where he stayed the night. Early the next morning we both wanted to have sex. I did not tell him I was a virgin, and was slightly nervous. Again though, I trusted him. He took the lead after we had similar foreplay as with the other guy. I told him to take it slowly while i was on my back with my legs up. When he entered I told him to wait a bit. We kissed and caressed each other. Then he began slowly and I told myself what my friend had told me "it may hurt, be ready. its natural for that to happen, but only to a certain extent. If its bad tell him to stop, wait 30 sec and try again. But if its too painful just stop". I also told myself "relax, relax, relax". To be honest it didnt really hurt, but it didnt necessarily feel great. I am told it takes a few times before you enjoy it which seems to have been the case so far. All in all I was freaking out a bit because I didnt know how long he would take or how long i could put up with it. He changed between fast and slow so there was a slight rest. Yet I still had to tell myself to stay with it because it did feel strange, but once it was over I was so happy. I thought that wasnt so bad. I dont think he even suspected I was a virgin and still doesnt. My second and third time were the same day at his place and I was much more excited for them. My fourth time up against a wall felt fantastic.
So sorry if this was long, but I read a few stories like these and it really helped me know what to expect and relax. thats the key thing I think, being comfortable and relaxing. Its not going to be perfect, but it should be enjoyable for the most part making out. Try not to overthink it too much. Prepare yourself mentally and physically before hand. Feel comfortable with the guy, not necessarily romantically attracted to but at least physically attracted to him. And again be relaxed, dont stress out too much. When just talking to someone intially before the hookup dont worry about it. Be yourself. Its just a meet up, not the actually act of sex. Be prepared for it to be kind of awkward. Just talk normally like you would to someone you just met, only at the end will either of you suggest to go back to someones place. AND ITS OK TO SAY NO. Even if he buys you lunch or something its your body and you dont have to sell yourself for a sandwich.
Hope this helps. Sorry if its jumbled or long, I didnt really re-read much because its so long and I just kept going. Good luck!
TLDR: relax, prepare mentally & physically, find a guy you trust
^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?
Shower douches are usually a bad idea unless you're into heavier & deeper anal play like fisting or big toys. Too much pressure and poor flow/volume control.
This water becomes trapped usually, but more importantly, these linings are a little bit more sensitive and delicate than your rectum.
Ideally you should be using something like a bulb douche or something similar to it.