What is the crowd's opinion of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts?

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On a related note, there is an excellent book called "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)". Essentially it says that, plenty of humans are too egocentric and we tend to rationalise or not admit mistakes. More importantly, when stating facts that contradicts the person's preconceptions, the person will have hard time digesting those facts and the person may accept it or not (there's a term for it but I forgot).

I haven't finished reading the book yet but I recommend anyone to read this, this will certainly give fresh perspectives.

I'm currently reading a book Mistakes Were Made But Not by Me. It discusses the psychology behind why people justify their actions and beliefs. It shows that everyone has blind spots, false memories, biases and how an otherwise good person could convince themselves that committing a crime is justifiable. It is helping me to deal with anger and frustration that comes from dealing with hurtful delusional people.

"Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)" is another book along that similar vein. It really helped me understand how some of the most intelligent people in my life could still believe in ridiculous claims. It's all about how we (including myself) justify things to get rid of that nasty cognitive dissonance.

http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909

I know I'm late to this thread, but just saw your question about a good book that helps explain this concept. Try "Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me." It's a really interesting (and easy to read) book about the power of the human brain to seek after things that confirm our biases. We are all guilty of it simply by being human. The key is to recognize it and ask ourselves "How am I not confirming my bias with this decision?"

http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909

"Mistakes were made, but not by me" - Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson

Talks all about cognitive dissonance and why we lie to ourselves, how people in power who do horrible things sleep at night, how smokers justify smoking to themselves etc..etc.. and maybe why you could be a lot gentler towards others. Also touches on the problem of false memories.

Thank you for the update and for the words of encouragement for others who may be in a similar situation. Here in San Francisco, I see new homeless youth show up every week. Almost all are LGBT -- they've been shunned by their families, their support network failed, and their worlds have collapsed. Some get themselves back on their feet. Others never do. Give yourself some solid credit for rising above the adversity and for your willingness to reach out to others who are in the same position. You're well on the way to a happier, healthier you! And someday, maybe some of those family members will come around too.

By the way, I found this book helpful in understanding why people cling so tightly to their homophobia. You might enjoy the read too. It may give you some insight and understanding into your family.

You could take her through the BITE Model point by point explaining how each of the methods are employed to gain control of members. This would avoid some of the need to read an entire book, just jumping straight to the control mechanisms.

There's also a book, not about JWs, but a good read to see how people come to hold, defend, and proliferate bad ideas. Mistakes Were Made but not by me

Yes, these people: https://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909/ref=monarch_sidesheet

Sorry, I was paraphrasing my position from the book Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me). Also Taleb's The Black Swan.

>You form an opinion about not forming opinions, this makes no sense in either word or idea form in the current context.

Not until you've made an effort to be more informed, no. Because once you form an opinion, particularly one made via tribalism or emotion, then confirmation bias kicks in and it's harder for us to accept information or arguments that contradict our hastily-assumed position. But, as per those two books, it's difficult for us to refrain from forming an opinion automatically--the mind looks for explanations without us deciding to, and it takes active effort to keep foremost in our mind that we don't have a basis for an informed opinion yet.

But in any case, thank you for your reply. It seems we may disagree on this. But I wasn't pulling it out of my hat.

> Mistakes were made (but not by me).

http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil

http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909

One of my favorite books. A must read for any dota 2 player.

> how the fuck are they going to come out simultaneously?

I believe that's pretty much what just happened. And if your argument is "well someone had to get the ball rolling" then go back a decade or so when there already was an accusation with a dozen or so other accusers. Funny thing, a dozen is less than two dozen. And what I mean by that is, ten years ago when there were a dozen accusers, the other dozen (that have come forward in the past couple months) were silent. They had the chance then, and they didn't. That kind of inaction at the opportune moment does tarnish their credibility at least a tiny bit.

My working theory is based on something I read in a book called Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. Basically, it starts with a hurtful accusation that may come from anything as simple as a nightmare, a dream, an OCD intrusive thought, or even a repressed fantasy. When one accusation is made, other people who may fit the criteria to have been a victim of the accused--even when the accused is legitimately innocent--gather bits and pieces of details from the previous accusation, building their own story with a similar mode of operation. The science indicates that people wouldn't remember the details as clearly as they're being told, but that's in another book. The discussion of hurtful accusations and their consequences is really quite interesting, and worth the cost of the book.

Having said that, Bill Cosby may rot in hell if he's proven to have done any or all of the things he's been accused of. I'm not saying those crimes aren't a big deal, or that I have reason to believe that he did or didn't do them, but what I am saying is the accusations themselves and the chronology of events are incredibly sketchy.

Also, this book is one of the best I've ever read and explains "top tier" incompetence very well

Krugman is well aware of that book

That said, while I agree with Krugman's economic assesments, he makes a mistake in ascribing motives to his detractors without consideration of the cognitive dissonance which drives their behaviour. I would recommend follow-up reading of Mistakes Were Made for Dr. Krugman. A more conciliatory tone towards the other side in a way which causes less cognitive dissonance might result in a better reception of his ideas.